21 Not Out

21 years ago today, Tommy Nutter (he designed bell-bottomed trousers) went to that great fitting room in the sky. Meanwhile in Newcastle-Under-Lyme, a baby boy was born. His entrance into the world was dramatic…as in he wasn’t breathing. He was as blue as a Smurf but he soon spluttered into life when the midwife gave him a hefty smack across his arse. The thwack could be heard in Newcastle-Upon-Tyne but it did the trick. He weighed in at just under 10lbs (to his mother’s amazement) and slept solidly for the next 24 hours, (to everybody’s amazement) not even waking when he did his first, and incredibly malodorous, poo. His mother wondered if she’d given birth to a sloth…

Dearest son,

It’s the big 21 today. You’re the man, key to the world and all that. Oh flippin ‘eck, a few lines in and I’m blarting already!

*composes oneself*

Time flies doesn’t it? It doesn’t seem that long ago since I was holding you in my arms gazing at you in awe and wonder. Actually that happened the other week when you visited but I’m talking about the day of your birth when I was lucky enough to become a mother for the second time.

I have so many memories of that time but the one that stands out is when everybody had gone and I held you and marvelled in the miracle of the life that is you and I knew that I would never forget that moment. It’s etched in my memory and in my heart. It was just you and me. I knew that once we left the hospital it would all change. So I made the most of those precious moments.

You were such a placid baby.. so easy going. Life was chaotic at that time but you had a calming effect on everybody around you. We called you ‘teeny little super guy’. You were so laid back you were horizontal.

Karl1-6a (640x511)

So laid back you were horizontal!

As you grew bigger, so did your smile and your personality. You took nursery in your stride. There is a video somewhere of you looking adorable as one of the shepherds in the Nativity. You were knuckle deep up your nose for the entire time but in your defence you weren’t the only one. And you were only three years old. So it’s OK.

You grew up sharing a room with your brother. This worked well until you both got a bit older and then it wouldn’t be an uncommon sight to open the door and see one of you pinning the other up against the wall by the throat. Happy times.

You never gave us any problems except for that one sleep walking incident where the door opened late one night and you walked in, sat down and said “You’ve all got to die now”. We did the hand wafting thing in front of your face… you were there but you weren’t there. So we led you back to bed and we slept with one eye open for a few weeks.

You’ve had lots of interests…cricket, rugby, drawing, gaming and music. You even took a liking to acting in your last few years at high school. It was a thrill indeed to see you and your brother working together… a double whammy for Mama’s heart. But eventually you found your own path and you realised that you preferred to be behind the camera. You’ve been following your dream of being a photographer ever since. You’re creative and I think you know that you get it from me. You’re also clever and I think you know that you don’t get that from me.

I hope you get to live out your dreams. I don’t see you everyday. I don’t get to talk to you everyday but I think about you everyday. You’re in my heart, every second of every day. You bring me a lot of joy and I’m incredibly proud of you. It’s an honour being your mum. Even when you shove my face into your armpits and say “Sniff them, Ma..that’s man smell”.

I know you make fun of my box of treasures, ( a box that contains, amongst other things, your milk teeth and cord clamp from the hospital). I think the words that you actually used when you saw them were “That’s a bit creepy actually, Mother” but the clamp reminds me that we were joined together once (however much you try not to think about it ha) and I paid good money for those teeth so damn right I’ve still got em. When I die you can have em back. πŸ™‚

Happy birthday Son, keep smiling.

Love you always

Ma x

cute karl 3a (462x640)

So there’s this boy…he kind of stole my heart. He calls me “Mum”.


8 thoughts on “21 Not Out

  1. OMG, nothing much I can say abouth this blog apart from its written by a mum who loves her children more than life itself.
    Wondering off to find a tissue…….

  2. Awww lovely πŸ™‚ You are a terrific, fun mummy who loves her kiddies dearly. They are lucky to have you and you them πŸ™‚ xxx

  3. You get that box out whenever you meet a friend or girlfriend of mine mother! The collection of various parts of my body is and always will be a terrifying detail in your life ma’. All that aside, it was a beautiful tribute to my ability to live for 21 years. Much love ma’.

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