Some days start off well and then one action…one solitary action can turn it upside down.
Little man was in a good mood this morning and we needed bog roll (because it was cheap and we were down to one sheet and one sheet definitely does NOT do plenty) so I thought it was safe to take him down to the shops to buy that (and maybe some sweeties). We’d had a lovely morning, singing, laughing, counting and playing. He was laughing his socks off. I love his laughs, they are real belly laughs. His laughs make me laugh. They’re awesome. So we made plans to go to the shops. We got dressed, fed the dog her biscuit (she always has one when we go out) and put our coats on.
Then all hell broke loose.
Little man lost the plot BIG TIME and started crying and screaming. Every attempt to calm him just made him worse. His cries morphed into howls and he started kicking at the furniture. I went silent and stood in the kitchen listening to him rage on, totally bewildered at the change in him from only minutes before.
This went on for a good half an hour and I realised that it was pointless even attempting to take him to the shops. Shopping with Little Man is difficult at the best of times. There are the odd occasions when he’s an absolute angel and we wonder if we’ve got the right kid. But generally he doesn’t cope well in shops. I’ve learnt not to take him once he’s had a meltdown. I’ve done this a time or two thinking that he will be ok to deal with things having already vented but it doesn’t work that way because these meltdowns make him tired and he tends to be even more sensitive.
So I’ve been sat here racking my brains trying to think of what kicked all this off. Why was my child happy and smiling one minute and looking like something out of the Exorcist the next?
Well I think I’ve sussed it and if I’m right, I need kicking because I should know better.
The only thing I can think of is that I asked little man to take his nursery bag (to carry his sweeties in). That’s the point that it all went Pete Tong and I should have known that to his little mind, that bag means he’s going to nursery and he knew that he wasn’t going to nursery. So it’s my fault and I feel bad. I feel really bad that my action has caused my son so much distress. I caused it because I didn’t think it through.
And I feel angry because Katie Hopkins (of the I failed at everything else so I’m going to be a bitch, fame) has now taken it upon herself to insult parents of children with special needs (my son hasn’t been diagnosed with anything yet but he does have special needs… that’s clear enough) so excuse me but what the hell does she know? I would love to see how she would cope with a child having a meltdown in a shop because it smells funny or the music is too loud. I would love to see how she’d cope with being spat on and pushed NOT because the child is being naughty but because the child can’t process the stimuli around it. I thought of that smarmy cow as I listened to my son’s frustration being thrashed out in the next room. She is exactly the kind of person who will stare and tut at a child who is having a meltdown without stopping to think that there may be another reason besides ‘naughtiness’ and ‘bad parenting’. Sadly there are many more equally ignorant and judgemental people like her. I’ve experienced this many times with my son.
But now it’s quiet. it’s like there’s been a big storm and it’s passed over. All I can do is hold my son, stroke his hair and wonder which magazine I’m going to cut up to use as bog paper.
Thank you for reading.