We All Shine On ( A Diagnosis of ASD )

The phone call that we were waiting for came yesterday.

It was the paediatrician confirming a diagnosis of autistic spectrum disorder for our little boy.

I’d expected it but I was ready for a fight if it didn’t happen.

Now it has happened and I have all these emotions going on.

One is sadness, but not because of the diagnosis. I’ve known there was something different about S from birth and I suspected autism when he was a toddler. No, the sadness is because I know that there are judgemental people in the world and I can’t protect him from their ignorance and prejudice.

But I can make sure that he is equipped, as best he can be, to cope with it.

This diagnosis will mean that he gets all the support that he needs. Because he has an early diagnosis this will give him the best possible foundation to be able to build coping skills in order to thrive in an overwhelming world.

I don’t see autism as being a label. I see it as being the reason – an explanation.

S will come to us one day and ask ‘Why am I different?’

We can tell truthfully tell him why and that he is not the only one – there are millions of amazing people just like him. A group of people who are different but by no means less.

I have read so many blog posts and tweets from parents who are struggling with the diagnosis process and unsympathetic schools. My heart goes out to them, but I have to speak as we find it and our experience has been 100% positive from word go. All the therapists, doctors and teachers have been so supportive. We have so much to be thankful for and we’re are very grateful. It’s half the battle won when people are on your side.

At the moment, the diagnosis is for us in order to help him get the best out of life. It will be up to S what he does with it when he’s older. I expect him to fight it and try to fit in but that’s all part of the acceptance process. You can try as hard as you like to fit in and even succeed in pulling it off to the outside world but you can never fool yourself.

My hope is that he will reach his full potential. He is a bright boy with his strength being in numeracy.

The world is full of quirky people. They give. They inspire. They light up the world.

My children have taught me different things but all three have reminded me how good it feels to laugh. S has a laugh that comes from his soul. It’s infectious, it’s therapeutic. It makes up for the hours spent counting to ten while he whirls through his meltdown. A human Tasmanian Devil if they can be cute.

It will take me a while to process it all but I’ll get there.

Meanwhile I stand easy. There is no need to fight. Mama don’t need to go make noise. It’s done and we know exactly where we stand.

So far, my children (and step-children) have proved to be creative. They entertain. They create beautiful images of moments in time. They make people feel good about themselves. They light up the world by giving.

We’ve yet to see how this little boy’s light will effect the world but with autism, anything is possible.

He lights up our lives with his energy, his joy, his laughter.

DSC_0038 (425x640)

We all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun ~ John Lennon

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35 thoughts on “We All Shine On ( A Diagnosis of ASD )

  1. Yay! Very positive news. The awful not knowing bit is over now, the key has been turned, the door opened and a whole new spectrum of opportunity available on the other side of that open door. Now you can relax, and enjoy the journey. The worst is over, and whatever extraordinary surprises, ups and downs are to come along the way on this journey, you have the help and support you need now to cope with them. xxxxxx

      • You (and indeed some of the regular readers to this Blog) might find the following link of interest and possibly beneficial in your respective circumstances:

        http://falseeconomy.org.uk/campaigns/item/act-now-autism-campaigners-together

        ACT (Autism Campaigners Together) NOW are a core group of people passionate about the future and wellbeing of children and adults with an Autistic Spectrum Disorder in the UK. Following the hand over of 6,000 signatures received from families of children with autism and adults with autism to 10 Downing Street and the publication of the ACT NOW Impact Assessment Report the campaign has entered its second phase….

  2. So great that you have had such positive support along the way up to now and long may that continue. Glad the waiting is over and so admire your positivity and strength going forward. Love that photo too – what a cutie!

  3. Such Lovely post. Getting a diagnosis can be devastating for some but you have looked at the positives which is wonderful. Like your son N has the most infectious giggle and hearing that helps with the bad days don’t you agree? I love ‘quirky’ too 😊 thank you for sharing xx

    • Thanks, Rebekah 🙂
      The way I look at I is that I’ve had a couple of years to come to terms with it. I don’t see any point in being negative…S will never know what it’s like to be anything other than how he is and I know he can have a good life. That’s my goal – to see that he gets there. xXx

  4. I’m so happy that you finally have a diagnosis Sis and that S will continue to get all the support he needs.
    P.S. My nephew is very handsome and I love you both lots 🙂 xxxx

  5. It’s great news that you no longer have to fight to explain, it’s now done for you thank goddess, nobody can alter what the consultant has said. You never have to make excuses for the way *S* behaves! he is normal to himself, whatever *normal* is. I’m sure S must look at people and wonder *why* sometimes! hehehehe, he probably would if he ever met me.
    Sorry, Tracy, I forgot to reply to your DM telling me this yesterday, my excuse is that I really was poorly. Me as your *twitter Ma* and your other twitter family & friends have been allowed to follow thus rocky road with you AND YOU GOT THERE!!!
    You must be going through so many emotions, elation, exhaustion, sadness, joy and many other feeling that even contradict each other. You don’t want S to be labelled but it’s there as a back up and his educational needs will hopefully continue to be met throughout his school years.
    S couldn’t want for better family around him, yes there will be ignorant idiots out there but there will also be kind, generous people who embrace S for all his special contributions to peoples lives around him.
    Give yourself a great big clap on the back and enjoy a beer. You as S’s Mum has completed another stage in his life, unfortunately there are family’s out there who wouldn’t be bothered or wouldn’t have the willpower and knowledge to take the system on for the benefit of their children.
    Tracy you & S are inspirational xxxx
    Love you honey, Ma xxxx

    • Aww thanks, Ma – such a lovely message of support. It means so much to me, as I’ve said.
      Thank you SO MUCH for taking time to read the post and commenting. I know you’re not well and I really appreciate you making the effort from your sick bed. 😉 You are one of life’s good ‘uns. Love you. xXxXX

  6. Normal is overrated in my opinion at least you have had what you already knew diagnosed…a mother always knows what’s best for her child keep that with you when you have decisions to make in the future.I love his picture his smile is contagious he is so handsome.Any family can have autism doesn’t take a special family but autism makes a family special it is not a choice but acceptance is.You are a marvellous mother he is different not less and will flourish and grow now he has been diagnosed with you at his side.Anytime you need a shoulder to cry on I’m there like you were for me xxx franca.

    • Such lovely words, Franca…
      I am so appreciative of all the support and kind words. Got a huge lump in my throat…
      You’re all so wonderful.
      Thank you.
      xXxXx

  7. He is a very lucky little boy, not just to have early support but to have a mumma who believes 100% in making sure that his life will be the best it can be, regardless of the hiccups along the way.

    Processing those official words can be a bit hard at times but soon you will know it’s just another phone call that confirmed what you knew all along, and your emotions will settle and you’ll carry on being his mother, and S will know no different 🙂

    Hugs xxxxxxxx

  8. You have such a positive and healthy attitude which as with all life’s challenges is often half the battle. I’m glad your experiences with doctors and so on has been so good too, from what I know that makes a huge difference.

  9. Beautiful post. It must be a relief to have it confirmed so that you know for sure he will get the support he needs. So pleased to hear you’ve had such great support so far.
    LOVE that photo – what a gorgeous boy. x

  10. Had a tear in my eye , then a smile on my face. You are so positive Tracy. Our little man will shine you mark my words. Love you xxxxxx

  11. This is an awesome post and I can’t wait to read more about your little guy. Sending positive thoughts your way! Check out my blog on my adventures in becoming a psychologist!

  12. I’ve been trying to word this right for a few days now. I’m honestly so made up that Stevie has a diagnosis, which I knew he would get. I just had this feeling that they’d diagnose him first time around. But, it won’t change the way I see him at all. Sometimes, I forget he has Autism, I just see this fun loving boy, who loves to wind up his sister and make her laugh. He’s honestly amazing despite all his problems. He’s going to grow up loved by a lot of people who like me will be able to see past his Autism and just focus on the truly awesome things about him like the fact he knows the exact route to my door, I mean what 4 year old would even know that! I think that Autism won’t break him it will make him, I have a hunch he already knows how unique he is but he just embraces it and I hope he continues to do that even when he’s a stroppy teenager like me and Lara. No matter what, Stevie will always have his family behind him he’s got excellent parents, awesome brothers and sisters and well he’s got me to. He’s got a brilliant life ahead of him whatever he chooses to do with it and I look forward to him growing up and showing us all his achievements, I know he’s going to make me proud he always has.
    Keep smiling, Trace because I know you and my dad have wanted this diagnosis for a long time!
    Love you! xx

    • * wipes eyes*
      Beautiful words, Chels…
      He is so lucky to have such wonderful brothers and sisters who love him and it’s a weight off our shoulders to know that he has this support. One thing he certainly isn’t lacking in is love from his family.
      Thank you.
      Love you too xXx

  13. Bless his little face, he has such an innocent, unburdened look.

    My son is also going through the ASD assessment, I wouldn’t change him for the world, he is so matter of fact, he speaks as he feels with no filters. But he makes me laugh every day, he is very in tune with me and will give me a hug and a kiss when I’m feeling sad, even though I know he’s not keen on physical contact.

    • Thank you…
      Yes, speaking without filters is a good description. ASD is a roller-coaster ride. One minute I’m wiping spit off the wall, the next I’m being cuddled to within an inch of my life. It’s never boring.
      I hope your son’s assessment gives you the answers that you need.
      Thinking of you. x

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