Your Song

Dear Son,

All of us have moments in our lives which define us.

All three of my children have brought something different into my life but you, being the first, changed it beyond recognition.

Throughout my pregnancy I had advice and read books, but nothing adequately prepared me for the feelings that came when I first held you. No words that I could ever write could do justice to those feelings but I hope one day you will understand.

When I woke up on that April morning, you were two days early. I’d convinced your Dad that you were on your way. He was slightly miffed because it was the first match of the cricket season. I was secretly chuffed that I’d got one over on him but I kept my glee hidden beneath a pained expression.

“You sure it’s not just wind?”

I instinctively knew that a good fart wasn’t going to do it this time. So I grabbed my hospital bag (which I’d packed months previously) and went off to become a mother.

You kept us waiting for 21 hoursΒ  (little git!!) but you finally put in your appearance in the early hours of Sunday morning. The word’ forceps’ had been used and it’s as if you thought “Sod THAT, Mother! – I’m comin out!!”

And out you came a whoopin and a wailin – your very first performance and the one that I treasure the most.

They whipped you off to hose you down and check your bits and I was gobsmacked at how chunky you were! I was expecting something tiny seeing as your Dad and I are like Borrower’s but you broke the 8lb mark and I was like…WHOA!! I was double checking the tags to see if there had been a mix up!

While they were seeing to you, I was given a cup of tea while a nice young man in wellies checked my bits. Nice bit of info for you there, Son. You’re welcome. I keeps it real.

The midwife (and cantankerous cow) placed you in my arms and there it was – the moment which defined me.

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The little bundle is you.

Before that moment the world was still pretty much revolving around me. But when you become a parent you grow up and in the early hours of that Sunday morning – I grew up.

It stopped being about me.

It became about you.

You were the child from hell – the only one of my children to get BANNED from playgroup!

And hyper???

One lick of a Smartie and you’d be rampaging all over the place sweating and shouting “COWABUNGA!!!”.

You had waaay more energy than you knew what to do with but luckily I had the energy to chase after you.

Then there were the ‘Lynx’ years fraught with the “I HATE YOU ALL, YOU’VE RUINED MY LIFE!” *slams door* scenarios. But karma is a bitch, Son and when you are on the receiving end of your teens rampage, you will hear the distant sound of my laughter from within Shady Pines Retirement Home.

So here we are…

I’ve watched you grow up into a remarkable young man. A man who loves the limelight and that in itself fascinates me – shine a spotlight on me and I’ll die but you thrive on it. You always have –Β  right from the time you flounced around the school hall as a very animated Joseph in his Technicolour Dreamcoat. You wafted that coat about and completely stole the show – filling my heart with love and pride. These moments made up for you being a little git.

Watching you on stage and screen is a surreal experience for me. Sometimes I have to give myself a little pinch to make sure I’m not dreaming but what you do is only a part of who you are. Whether you act or clean bogs – it’s not about what you do but about who you are. You’ll always be my boy – the first little person ever to call me ‘Mummy’.

Whatever you do today on your special day, have fun and know that I love you with all my heart.

Mum xxx

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You cute. Me bad perm.

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it’s done
I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you’re in the world ~ Your Song – Elton John

 

 

 

 

 

 

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27 thoughts on “Your Song

  1. That is frankly the best love letter I’ve ever read. The tears are pouring down my cheeks as I type.
    There really is nothing like the life changing moment when you hold your first born.
    You write so well β™₯

  2. Happy birthday to your biggest boy πŸ™‚ Beautiful post and pics sis. Lots of love to you all on this special day xxx

  3. You have a way with words T πŸ™‚ You should write a comedic e book and earn some dosh. Seriously, you could write a good one! x

    • Aww ta lovely but with the talent that’s out there – I know that my writing is nowhere near good enough. I just enjoy doing it and if some people like what I write – well that’s a pleasant bonus. πŸ™‚ xXx

  4. No, she’s right, you are very funny and talented. This is a stunning birthday/love letter and i did well up at the Elton bit. What you’ve written really sums up acceptance. And forget the perm, I lOVE the jacket, you are brave to wear white with a cheeky baby too. What a lucky guy to have a Mum like you. xx

  5. Dear ‘MummyS’,

    1. Fab post and have commented.

    2. Also thanks for including me in your ‘Blogs I follow’ List. I’m honoured!! However when I clicked on it , it takes you to another site. Don’t know why. Maybe WordPress secretly prefers that one.

    Hope it’s easy to fix. As soon as I understand how to do it, I will include you in my list too. Jo X

  6. I love this, it perfectly sums up how our lives totally change and how well we remember that very first moment that we become ‘Mummy’. I often look at my eldest son (20) and it seems like yesterday that he was sitting in his car seat wearing a Peter Rabbit romper suit, part of him will always be that baby.Beautiful post x

  7. Oh gosh Tracy, what a lovely blog and yes, I have tears in my eyes!!!! 2 beautiful photos that speak a thousand words of how a proud Mummy feels. I’m going to leave this short for once as it is about you & C but I can remember being taken in a wheelchair with my 1st in my arms and although it was a stupid thought, I felt that I was the only person to have actually given birth…..daft but true. You are such a lovely mum to all 3 of your boys, all different and all very special. As they grow older they will understand that they are the luckiest boys alive to have YOU as their mum.
    Love from your twitter Ma xxxxxxxxx

  8. I’ll get over that perm..after all I had one the same..didn’t a lot of us girls! Well T, no surprise you don’t do yourself justice about penning something that others may buy ( hey, may keep you in cheese!) be an adventure to try? You’re bloody hilarious! and I wouldn’t say that if it wasn’t true. Anyway..got to ask you something..email on way!

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